Beer & Love

I recently read a book by my favorite non-Gordimer South African—J.M. Coetzee. Slowman is about an older man who loses his leg after a bicycle accident. Refusing a prosthetic, he relies on a daily nurse to assist him with his needs. As many patients do, he falls in love with this much younger (and already married) woman. Our hero, married and divorced sans children, falls into a slump as he faces his own mortality and his lack of children. He wants his nurse to be his and her children to be his. Another character from another Coetzee novel, Elizabeth Costello, appears as a godlike puppeteer. She challenges his love for his day nurse and pushes other women at him, other “wounded” sorts. She eventually propositions herself out to him, a proposition he refuses. Their relationship is hot and cold. He doesn’t like her, doesn’t want her there, but having shunned all his other friends and frightened his nurse away with his tidings of love and adoration; he begins to rely on her friendship and conversation. Near the end of the novel, he explains his love to Elizabeth and tells her that even if the nurse does not love him back that he has enough love for both of them. This general expression is carried on for a few pages. When I read this, I thought, “wow. Story of my life. Poor guy.” Well Elizabeth sets him straight when she states something similar to the following (I don’t have my book so it’s not a perfect quote): Do you think love is like a case of beer? That if you bring enough of it the other party can show up empty handed, empty-hearted?.... Are you really that dumb?

This Costello woman obviously knows her stuff. But reading that I realized that I did/do/probably will think that if you do bring enough, then that’s all you need. That I can love enough for two. Let’s adjust this beer and love idea and say that they ARE alike (elevating beer to a higher position, not downgrading love). I’ve been toting around this case every where I go. Apparently, I really am that dumb. But maybe it’s time I put the case down, pick up a couple of bottles and make my way to the gathering with just enough beer (and love) for one just to see if you bring enough to complete the case.