Sweating to Saved by the Bell...

So I've officially moved in and I love the floorplan of this apartment but I've already had several maintaince issues-the latest being an AC that does not work!! Last night my apt. got to a cool 85 degrees... I've sent in a request for someone to fix it ASAP so hopefully it'll soon be nice and icy in here. I really hope this place isn't the death of me-I've already had so much drama with it and I'm hoping everything will quickly smooth over. I mean the actually apartment rocks.

I've decided that moving sans job was probably not the best idea for me. I feel rather dependant on others right now and I don't like that feeling. Hopefully something falls in to place like today. I don't like being unemployed.

I am glad I went home for a bit because I was able to enjoy my family. I played softball with my sister & her husband (even Mom played for a lil' bit), we set off fireworks, took the dogs to the river, and to the Millpond. It was good times. Last Sunday was Father's Day and I actively ignored the day. Thankfully my mom and I were in Cary unpacking boxes. Unfortunately she asked me to go with her to the grave yesterday to get the flowers off. Maybe it's stupid but there's something about his grave, with remnants left by visitors (arrowheads, turkey feathers, etc...), that puts me in a panic. Perhaps it has something to do with this childish notion I have that he is simply on a very long vacation and he'll be home shortly. A headstone kills such notions.

While I've been home, I've had to face more mortality. I am fortunate to have all four of my grandparents and my father's parents are in relatively excellent health. They seem years younger than they actually are. My mother's parents however are a different story. Her father had several strokes a few years back and is confined to a wheelchair. Up until recently he could walk a few steps with a walker and assistance which made it easy to move him from wheelchair to recliner or wheelchair to bed. Now he has injured his foot and cannot stand at all. My grandmother has been taking care of him but recently she's started to have more problems with her back and hips and cannot stand for long periods of time or lift heavy items. Thus, it has fallen on any family members close by to help move my grandfather. My grandmother goes to the hospital for surgery this Friday and I'm expected to return home to assist in taking care of my grandfather.I hate doing this. It's not that I don't love him and want to help him, but I don't like seeing him so dependent on others for everything--so vulnerable. And then I feel like a horrible grandaughter. *sigh*